No News Is Good News.
“As always in this country, they only laugh at you when you tell the truth.”
– Edward Abbey
A SPECTER is haunting the Internet and the dust-covered, long forgotten newspaper racks at the convenience store – the specter of Weird Voyeurism. All the powers of old Media have entered into a holy alliance to hunt down and waterboard this specter: Clickbait Columnist and Washington Post Editor, Maddow and Hannity, Scientologists and Latter Day Saints.
Where is the publication in opposition that has not been denounced as Voyeuristic by its opponents in power? It is high time that Voyeurists should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish their incoherent views, their nonsensical aims, their off-beat and sleep-deprived scribblings and photographs, and meet this specter of Weird Voyeurism with a pseudo-journalistic publication of its own.
Today, we live in a society where money is free speech, businesses are people, and possession of shiny yellow rocks and imaginary numbers determine who has access to food, shelter and medical care; in other words, an absurd world. We at Weird Voyeurism feel that journalism should reflect that absurdity. After all, we’re reporting on an epoch where, as Marx so eloquently put it, “all that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and man (sic.) is at last compelled to face with sober senses his real conditions of life, and his relations with his kind.” The results are rarely pretty.
Apocalyptic times calls for Apocalyptic coverage. Weird Voyeurism believes that sort of urgency should be reflected in our writing, whether the subject is police riot, a county fair, or the search for an elusive Lizard Man. Fuck the Associated Press Style Book. That reactionary gaggle of Grammar Nazis categorized entire groups of human beings as “illegal” just several years ago. The term “anchor baby” was completely cool with them shortly before that. Fuck the New York Times, that self-congratulatory circle-jerk of neo-liberal fucks. It took them a decade and a half to finally make the editorial decision to refer to torture as torture. Fuck Vice News, the hip, Imperialist running-dogs of Time Warner. A truly alternative media publication cannot be underwritten by the Heart Corporation and The Walt Disney Company, and their affiliates shouldn’t be accepting ad revenue from Northrop Grumman and Pfizer.
Weird Voyeurism refuses to stand around in parking garages waiting for men named after porno films to just hand us the stories of the century (Interestingly enough, the Watergate story broke at almost the same time as the FBI’s COINTELPRO was uncovered. Guess which one got more column inches? Are you even aware of what COINTELPRO is?). As the vanguard of shit-raking and neo-Gonzoist journalism (Gonzo as in the Muppet; Weird Voyeurism claims no affiliation with Hunter S. Thompson or his estate) Weird Voyeurism believes in digging through society’s trash for the coagulated meat-juice truth at the bottom. This is generally accomplished by – literally – digging through society’s trash. Truth is generally stranger than fiction, but that doesn’t prevent us from trying to present a balanced view on what exactly is true or false. If modern media teaches us anything (it doesn’t) it’s that reality is subjective. One man’s John F. Kennedy reincarnated as black Jesus is another man’s socialist Muslim Kenyan hell-bent on injecting all of our children with a dose of autism. Weird Voyeurism gives you that level of subjectivity with no spin but that of our corporate sponsors. And that’s the(ir) bottom line, ‘cause Stone Cold said so.
THE REPORTERS HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT THEIR BRAINS!