Horrorscopes: July 17 – July 23
Don’t cry, baby. It’s just what God wants.
Horrorscopes: July 10 – July 16
I don’t give a damn what Fate says. You eat what you want to eat.
Horrorscopes: June 26 – July 2
Time to reapply that sun screen since the stars are really pissed this week. Don’t let the Fates burn you again.
Horrorscopes: June 12 – June 18
Back for another round, eh? The stars and your ex were wrong. You do persevere with some things!
Horrorscopes: June 5-11
The Psychic Strike has ended with only half of management being turned into toads. Here are this week’s Horrorscopes!
Horrorscopes: March 20 – 26
Miss Cleo Tested … Aleister Crowley Approved! Here are this week’s Horrorscopes!
Horrorscopes: February 14 – 20, 2016
Sorry for the delay. Beth’s still figuring out the crystal ball.
Horrorscopes: February 7-13
EDITOR’S NOTE: Dear fellow voyeurs, First of all, we would like to apologize. We realize that plenty of people rely upon the astrological predictions in Horrorscopes as a foundation for … Continue reading
Horrorscopes: Dec. 6 – Dec. 12
Your future is my future. You already owe me money.
Horrorscopes: Nov. 29 – Dec. 5
Ah, my friend, you’d be best not to check your bank account this week.