“I’m Not Going Anywhere” Republican Debate Game

Stock up on your legal over-the-counter truck stop amphetamines, pull out the AAA road map, and get ready to get lost with Ben Carson! Ben summed the current state of his campaign up perfectly during his Sixth-Place victory speech for the South Carolina Primary: “I’m not going anywhere!” Now he’s got a bus full of books to sell and a short time left in the national spotlight. Now he’s Northeast bound and down on I-45 out of Houston, and fairly certain of the layout of the continental United States. With Weird Voyeurism’s I’m Not Going Anywhere debate game, you can futilely aid Ben Carson in the Sisyphean task of getting to out Nation’s Capital!

The Rules are simple. Print off the board, cut, fold, and tape the Carson campaign buses, and tune into the CNN Republican Debate. Any of the few times Carson is mentioned, or Carson does something Carsony, roll a six-sided dice. Move your bus across that number of states, and follow the instructions. The first one to help Ben Carson make it to the White House wins! More astute players may notice a recurring “Go back to Start” theme across the board, making the game much more difficult to win. This was done for the sake of realism.

PDF version:

I’m Not Going Anywhere Game