No News Is Good News.
Bright Light City. Sin City. Another cliche with the word “City” in it. Welcome to Las Vegas, a neon cesspool in the middle of the Mojave Desert. An oasis that was founded by drunken, toothless prospectors, built up with Mafia blood money, and is currently run by capitalists with a legal – and literal – right to steal. No other metropolis in this great country better represents why the terrorists hate us and Europeans find us disgusting. It’s a magical place, where any individual with enough cash can gorge themselves on shellfish, drink themselves into oblivion, become bankrupt in in exchange for nothing, and catch a raging case of Herpes – all in the same night. I personally could think of no better venue for the last Republican debate of 2015.
To play Viva Lost Wages, print off the candidate card of your choice, tune into the debate on CNN, and follow the standard rules of Blackjack for each round of questions. If one of the listed topics comes up, add it’s numerical value to your point sheet. The closest to 21 without going over wins. Do not place bets on this, however, as gambling extraordinarily illegal, unless you have the proper license to steal. Standard Republican rules apply: never bet on black, and the House always wins.