No News Is Good News.
A Specter is haunting America – the specter of extremely moderate reform. All powers of conservative America have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this specter; Protestant and Objectivist, Tea-Partier and moderate, hedge-funders and unemployed bigots with faded, Romney/Ryan stickers on their broken-down trucks.
For years, the Democratic Party has been trying to choke the life out of American freedom. Using deceptive, hard-to-pronounce terms like “a living-wage,” “universal health care,” and “basic human decency,” they plan to implement a radically anti-capitalist program that will drag us into the totalitarian hell that vaguely resembles a conservative European social democracy. Some of the sick, commie bastards have even recommended paid maternal leave – just like they have in North Korea!
With Red States, you can help spot the candidates’ creeping socialism before it’s too late. The directions are as simple as getting a job in a right to work state. Just print off your candidate card, cut out your Free America and Totalitarian America maps, and tune into Saturday’s debate on ABC. Make sure you cut the commie map along the dotted-line (much like how the Democrats are tearing this country apart). For each Left-wing program the candidate mentions, place a piece of the Totalitarian America map over this great country. Keep laying out the map until we begin to look like Norway. The first candidate to snuff-out the freedom that our Forefathers, Adam Smith and Jesus fought to preserve wins!
Put down your copy of Capital, save your spot in the toilet paper line, and tune into the People’s Republic of New Hampshire Democratic debate with Weird Voyeurism’s Red States!