It’s time to party in the city where the heat is on, all night on the beach to the break of dawn; Welcome to Miami, and the CNN Republican debate!
Bust out the Fentanyl patches, turn that morphine drip on high, and tune into CNN as Clinton and Sanders go head-to-head once again!
A toxic substance is creeping into the water of the Flint River aided and abetted by Corporate Cronyism, and it’s up to the candidates to do something about it!
The stage is set, the candidates are in their green rooms, and a group of middle class teenagers are chugging hand sanitizer in a suburban home and tuning into Fox … Continue reading
Our Top-notch political Mystics explain how all of this Super Tuesday nonsense works in language simple enough for even the uneducated to understand!
Stock up on your legal over-the-counter truck stop amphetamines, pull out the AAA road map, and get ready to get lost with Ben Carson! Ben summed the current state of his campaign up perfectly during his Sixth-Place victory speech for the South Carolina Primary: “I’m not going anywhere!”
With the somewhat sane population of New Hampshire out of the way, Republican candidates can now go back to courting the Muslim-Bashing, Jesus-Loving, Chik-filla-Eating base that they know and love so much. It’s crunch time now, and to be able to win, they’re going to have to cram in as many New Testament references they can muster.
Help Sanders the Bar-Bernie-ian and Joan of Arkansas escape the evil snares of The Night Walker’s Labyrinth!
The Top Tier Republican candidates are gathering in New Hampshire to slug it out over foreign policy, eligibility, and who-stole-who’s heroin!
Buzzwords. Rhetoric. It’s all just words in the flatulent campaign wind.
In the interest of linguistic voyeurism, we’ve turned NBC’s transcript into a easy to abuse infographic.