On January 30, 1933 throngs of adoring spectators gathered around a stage in Berlin to await a speech from a megalomaniac with a shitty haircut. The country had … Continue reading
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Tonight people around the world will tune in to CBS for the Democratic Party’s presidential debate. Going back to the Founding Fathers, the art of debating has always been a cherished … OH GOD! THERE’S STILL NINE-AND-A-HALF MORE MONTHS OF THIS SHIT!
For years, the Democratic Party has been trying to choke the life out of American freedom. Using deceptive, hard-to-pronounce terms like “a living-wage,” “universal health care,” and “basic human decency,” they plan to implement a radically anti-capitalist program that will drag us into the totalitarian hell that vaguely resembles a conservative European social democracy. Some of the sick, commie bastards have even recommended paid maternal leave – just like they have in North Korea!
Bright Light City. Sin City. Another cliche with the word “City” in it. Welcome to Las Vegas, a neon cesspool in the middle of the Mojave Desert. An oasis that was founded by drunken, toothless prospectors, built up with Mafia blood money, and is currently run by capitalists with a legal – and literal – right to steal.
Howdy y’all pardners, or whatever colloquial hick greeting they use in America’s Heartland! Welcome to Weird Voyeurism’s Des Moines Democratic Debate Corn Polling Game! Hooooo-weeeee! Yeeeeee-Hawwwww!
Print out some cards, take out your betting cash and sit back for another shit show.
It’s time for another Republican debingo!
Cut the lights, turn your set to CNBC, set up your candles, and bust out some primo sacrificial jelly beans.
Pick your favorite candidate, print out their card, and cross-off every obnoxious thing that that have to say!