The stage is set, the candidates are in their green rooms, and a group of middle class teenagers are chugging hand sanitizer in a suburban home and tuning into Fox … Continue reading
Our Top-notch political Mystics explain how all of this Super Tuesday nonsense works in language simple enough for even the uneducated to understand!
Stock up on your legal over-the-counter truck stop amphetamines, pull out the AAA road map, and get ready to get lost with Ben Carson! Ben summed the current state of his campaign up perfectly during his Sixth-Place victory speech for the South Carolina Primary: “I’m not going anywhere!”
With the somewhat sane population of New Hampshire out of the way, Republican candidates can now go back to courting the Muslim-Bashing, Jesus-Loving, Chik-filla-Eating base that they know and love so much. It’s crunch time now, and to be able to win, they’re going to have to cram in as many New Testament references they can muster.
Help Sanders the Bar-Bernie-ian and Joan of Arkansas escape the evil snares of The Night Walker’s Labyrinth!
The Top Tier Republican candidates are gathering in New Hampshire to slug it out over foreign policy, eligibility, and who-stole-who’s heroin!
Buzzwords. Rhetoric. It’s all just words in the flatulent campaign wind.
In the interest of linguistic voyeurism, we’ve turned NBC’s transcript into a easy to abuse infographic.
On January 30, 1933 throngs of adoring spectators gathered around a stage in Berlin to await a speech from a megalomaniac with a shitty haircut. The country had … Continue reading
Other than house ad 1
Tonight people around the world will tune in to CBS for the Democratic Party’s presidential debate. Going back to the Founding Fathers, the art of debating has always been a cherished … OH GOD! THERE’S STILL NINE-AND-A-HALF MORE MONTHS OF THIS SHIT!
For years, the Democratic Party has been trying to choke the life out of American freedom. Using deceptive, hard-to-pronounce terms like “a living-wage,” “universal health care,” and “basic human decency,” they plan to implement a radically anti-capitalist program that will drag us into the totalitarian hell that vaguely resembles a conservative European social democracy. Some of the sick, commie bastards have even recommended paid maternal leave – just like they have in North Korea!